Sticks and Stones and Dubra Bones

Since my last couple of posts have been ricockulously all business, I thought I'd lighten things up, tickle your funny Dubra bones, and regale you all with various stories and thoughts.

1.) I just realized that I had my headphones on and hadn't been listening to anything for like 10 minutes.

2.) So there's this really ridiculous girl I went to high school with called Dalby (I have no problem calling her by name because she doesn't know this blog exists and I shall NEVER tell her about it). So like, Obama won on tuesday night, and mostly all of my friends were really happy and excited, and I went on facebook and most were pro-Obama, except for a few hilariously upset statuses. Like this one kid I went to elementary school with and haven't seen in 13 years said he had never been so ashamed of his country, and this girl I barely know (who if I recall from years ago when I had a class with her, used to carry a picture of Dr. Phil around in her backpack) was like "America, are you fucking KIDDING ME?" Anyway, good ol' Dalbo's status was like "Dalby can't believe Obama, that fucking fascist socialist won! I won't be in school tomorrow, BUILDING A BOMB SHELTER" And so I replied, after I had not spoken to her in a couple of years, because, well, she's freakin' crazy and I have a large supply of outrageous stories I like to entertain people with, with something along the lines of "Fascism and socialism are COMPLETELY different things!" My original intent was to just say "You're a fucking idiot!" but I decided to go for a less confrontational response, while still hoping that she replied so that we could get into a huge argument that I could win, so I could laugh into that face of hers. She obviously has no understanding of eiter fascism or socialism, because only Two Face could embody that contradictory ideology. But she never replied, and instead deleted her status and truncated it to just "Dalby won't be in school, BUILDING A BOMB SHELTER". I must say I was dissapointed.

3.)Dalby's the kind of girl that when I approached her one day years ago after she had been absent from our orchestra class for a while and asked her how she was doing she said "Oh, I've just been in the hospital....the MENTAL hospital". She also liked to frequently storm out of class through the back door (bad idea to sit the most unstable person in the class there where they can easily, loudly escape) because she has a billion year old crush on this kid, and if he talked to this other girl, that would be the final straw. We also sat next to each other on one of the orchestra trips, on a 10 hour bus ride to Boston, and she slept on me THE ENTIRE TIME, and I would try to push her off, and she would hit the window and fly back onto me. She also woke up with a mysterious animal cracker in her mouth, and then proceeded to announce it to the whole bus, with me sitting there looking her best friend.

4.) Enough of Dalby, I just realized I titled this post about Dubra, and haven't even talked of the wonders of Dubra, the smoothest, fanciest, most expensive of vodkas that leaves no burn in that throat. Nuh uh, that shit goes down like water. Oh wait, did I say Dubra? Because I meant whatever the polar opposite of Dubra is, because Dubra, when drank by me, makes me to want die. Yet I find myself drinking it every weekend, and I did a shot of Dubra for Obama winning, for some reason. Though as much as I despise everything about Dubra, from it's taste of rubbing alcohol to the way it feels as it slithers down your throat to it's lame design on the plastic bottle (red curtains, that's it!), I will never stop drinking it. Dan Bullman and I agreed last night that we enjoy complaining about things and being miserable, and Dubra is just an extension of that. It's fun to taste that abominable taste and get really sick off of it, because then you can just make a lot of hilarious Dubra jokes, either about how horrible it is and makes you feel or just be "You know, Dubra just makes me feel really good the next morning, AND it tastes good". I NEED Dubra, because it feeds my inner-torment and masochism. I cannot live without Dubra. I AM Dubra.

5.) The radiator in my room, which had stopped making noise for a month by this point, just up and started clanking around today. Oh how I hate that radiator.

6.)I had an idea, while walking back from voting the other day, of an election day themed suspense/thriller. There are two alternate ways it could play, but they both play off the same gimmick. Either someone or a group of people will get kidnapped by two people, each representing the two opposing candidates, and the victims will have to decide/vote for which one of the two "candidates" will kill them. The alternate way would be the "candidates" setting it up so that the citizens of a town/city would be the ones to vote for whoever will murder the victims. And this would represent the psychos philosphy of how the 2-party system continually just fucks everyone over, and it doesn't matter who anyone votes for because the outcome will always be the same and politics are bullshit and the two-party system will never change blah blah blah. I dunno, it was just an idea. The only title I could come up with was "Hellection" but that just sets the whole thing up to be a shitty farce. And "Election Day" is too bland. And thoughts people?

Anywayz, I'm sick of writing. PEACE.